Look, a high chair.
My kitchen floor is not that dirty. Instagram did that.
There are no before pictures, except kind of in the background in this one, but you can’t tell that the whole chair is painted with matte yellow HOUSEPAINT (who does these things?) and who is looking past all that swinging baby up front anyway? I sent the metal off to an autobody shop willing to powdercoat away all manner of sins, and I recovered the seat and backrest with vintage fabric and that fickle mistress of home waterproofing: iron-on vinyl.
Yes, it is sturdy. Yes, I am making a safety harness. Yes, the stupid vinyl makes it kind of wrinkly in places and I should probably try again, but I figure that since you can distract from sort-of-wonky baby handknits by wrapping them around an adorable baby then the effect might translate to amateur vinyl jobs as well.
Cover for me, little arm dimple. Atone for maternal shortcomings, attempted motor skills. Beguile away.