Flatware and facial hair: a highly serious discussion
I have a new favorite cup. There it is, below the heroic amount of knitting I got done this weekend.
The story, as I hear it told, is that the extra bit of porcelain there is a moustache protecting device—the faithful barrier between one’s cookie duster and one’s tasty warm beverage. Tell me please, is there any truth to this? I must know.
If it is true, and this cup was specifically designed to preserve the appearance and hygiene of one’s subnasal adornment, I have several important questions to ask:
- Did such a cup come with every set of fine china, or was it a customizable amenity, like adding a pair of left-handed scissors into an order of office supplies?
- Was it considered a faux pas not to serve tea to a mustachioed guest in such a receptacle? You’ve welcomed him into your home, you’ve relieved him of his jacket and bowler, and yet you’re unable to prevent him from leaving with his mane of moustache doused in milky earl grey?
- If one is lucky enough to have both an invitation to a tea party and fine bristly nose-neighbor, what etiquette guides the ensuing interaction? Given tea in a conventional cup, would it be rude to investigate whether or not your hostess stocks the variety you require? In its absence, is it at all appropriate to make a make-shift barrier with table-top supplies at hand? On invitations, is it too forward to make mention of your lip valence, say, next to one’s preference of chicken over fish?
Please enlist the help of any push broom-sporting loved ones. We’ll get to the bottom of this mystery.