ok, let’s back up.
Remember this?
At the time, it was the latest bundle my mail lady had resigned herself to walking up our driveway to deliver. I happen to know she enjoys meeting my Bill at the front door, for there is great and unspoken commiseration between them as he sighs and signs for the package of the hour. I may have to look into ways to alleviate dissention amongst those who ferry deliveries down the home stretch to my arms.
But I digress. Back to the story: do you remember how, after a winsome tirade of mine about the amusing accumulation of stamps observed on said package, I asked you to guess what was inside?
Yes, yes. Then THIS happened:
Not to wreck the surprise for everyone else, but our Andy was absolutely spot on. In fact, he was correct in a way that was so precise that now I have to know how he did it. I had left enough clues to lead an enterprising soul to “yarn”…. but mule-spun merino wool? How could he possibly have known that?
Out with it, Andy. I won’t rest until I know the secret. And in the meantime, I will resort to bizarre and inaccessible inside jokes to keep my mind off the mystery.
You are, after all, the decided winner of my guessing game, and I’m sure I’m capable of coming up with a fitting reward for such high-powered accuracy. Presuming, of course, your methods were honorable and didn’t involve bribery of either my mail lady or my fiancée, threats (which is like bribery, but cheaper), or even the briefest exercise in home invasion.
Truly mind-boggling. Where did the word “boggling” come from, anyway? Anyone know? That’s an odd word.
Like most magic tricks, this won’t be nearly as powerful once you know how it was done.
Not that I think I’m a magician, mind you; just an Internet user with a self-empowered google-it attitude.
The first: we know said object is not terribly fragile: it was shipped in a soft package.
Second, we know that it came from “_____verslide _______ goods” somewhere in Montana, 59432.
A google search reveals 59432 is the zip code for Dupuyer, Montana. This is a boon for anyone attempting to identify “_____verslide _____goods” as there cannot be many businesses in Dupuyer, Montana.
Armed with this knowledge, we apply some advanced Google technique: a wildcard search.
I enter *slide goods Dupuyer Montana. (I wasn’t completely sure of the “ver.”)
The first result is an article about the success of a Dupuyer Montana Internet yarn company. The second is the actual website for said company- Beaverslide Dry Goods.
We know Ms (last name censored by blog owner because she loves her anonymity and is DRUNK WITH POWER) loves:
A. The Internet.
and
B. Knitting
So now we’re in business. A softy package from Beaverslide Dry Goods in Dupuyer, Montana that required $7.02 regular postage is undoubtedly wool. The fact that it was Mule-spun Merino wool is an educated guess; it makes sense to buy regular wool from your local dry goods supply and fine Merino Wools from John and Leanne of Dupuyer Montana.
Q.E.D.
I should point out that the whole process took a mere fraction of the time that this explanation required, and really isn’t very impressive. I take more pride in guessing correctly than I probably should.
-Andy
That, my Andy, was the finest thing to occur in my comment section to date. Perhaps you can just be on hand to answer life’s more opaque questions in comment fields the world over. I have so many pressing questions you could put to Google on my behalf! Was it really necessary for Avatar to be three hours long? Where does all my money go every month? Why won’t my lie detector detect lies like it says it will on the package?
P.S. The mule-spun merino yarn in question is a trouty pink, otherwise it would be earmarked for a gifted garment to pay tribute to your eerily superior internet search capabilities.
P.P.S. Please use your powers for good.
I am so happy you’ve found each other.
You’re Robinsoning my heart.
I knew that yarn looked familar! I loooooove Beaverslide, am working on my third sweater with it. Isn’t it amazing?