There is no ‘I’ in ‘ray gun’, my love
My Bill, my darling, I know we’re saving for the wedding. I completely understand the importance of that. However, I may have bought a space gun online. Just now.
Yes, I do remember that conversation. I told you I would curb all ebaying that wasn’t absolutely essential. But, I don’t know… what’s essential really depends on circumstance, no?
Ask yourself, my quail, what’s essential in THIS circumstance:
Is it a violinist or several? A tasteful bouquet? A cocktail? (Ok, that’s a good point. Maybe a nice cocktail.) Artistic uplighting for area trees? Or is it a RAY gun with pressable trigger and realistic ray-like lights and noises?
I can see you’re still mad. That’s okay. But surely an intelligent man such as yourself would see virtue in the following: any purchase between now and May that is tastefully incorporated in the celebrations may be fairly considered a wedding-related purchase, and no longer subject to reproof or derision.
I know you’re aware that brides wear garters. I believe those are for flasks and ray guns, or was I just raised completely the wrong way here?
I am rendered feeble every time I see a raygun online. Every now and then I come across a really grand one on Etsy (not on purpose, mind you, but entirely by chance) and I become weak in the knees.